How to Change Your Mind About Social Media
“I suck in comparison to her.”
“I can’t believe how much she’s doing even through all of this.”
“I’ll never be as good as her.”
These are the thoughts that constantly used to flood my mind when I scrolled my social media feeds.
I’ve tried everything to stop them: deleting my apps, re-downloading them but with time limits set, unfollowing people that I compared myself to. None of that worked.
Because it wasn’t the app’s fault that I was feeling this pain. It was my fault. What needed to change was the way I thought.
I used to think it wasn’t worth the pain I was making myself feel, I would limit my use of social media. But when I changed my thoughts, I realized that I could use social media as a tool. A tool to help myself, to help other people, and to get more writing clients.
I noticed that when I’m comparing myself and tearing myself down on social media, it’s usually because I’m jealous. They’re a good writer or a strong climber or on an adventure I’d like to be on or they’re having a moment of success.
Instead of sitting in my jealousy, I started reaching out to the people I was comparing myself to. I’ve started making friends with them talking about our shared experiences. I’ve even learned new ways to become a better writer, a stronger runner, a more technical climber, and started planning grander adventures. All of these positives came because of and through these connections.
When my thinking started to change, my experiences with social media changed too.
Sure, I still catch myself mentally comparing, but the point is that I’ve acknowledged the pain I’m experiencing. I’ve found where it was coming from and then slowly changed my thinking to experience less pain. There’s always going to be pain in life. There are always going to be thought patterns that are more difficult to change. But why experience more pain when you can experience less and make friends while doing it?
Now, more than ever, we’re spending a ton of time on social media. On average over the past year, I’ve spent almost 5 hours a day on social media (3.5 on Instagram alone). That’s a lot! That’s almost a quarter of my day!
Would I rather spend nearly 5 hours a day beating myself up and feeling the pain of inadequacy? OR would I rather spend 5 hours a day socializing, making friends, contributing to the world what I am good at, and learning new skills? I think I’ll take the latter.
Check in with yourself. What thoughts does social media trigger for you? It’s okay to mindlessly scroll. But it’s not okay to mindlessly beat yourself up all day, is it? How are you coping with it?